I am on quite the rampage lately.

This just makes me boggle. Yes, I know it's old for a blog post, but I just saw it so here I am. It damn near made my head explode.

You know, I don't even write original fiction, and I know that most of it requires some degree of research. If I write a book that's set in a hospital, I'm going to visit hospitals. If I'm writing a novel in which the main character extols the virtues of In-N-Out Burger, I'm not going to set it in New Jersey. And one would think that if I wanted to write an urban fantasy novel, I'd read some urban fantasy and get a picture of the genre. Regarding this blogger's recent reading of YA, I'm shocked by the "I'm shocked" factor, too. Maybe that's my emotionally disconnected librarian talking, but the stuff of YA novels does not faze me. It all stems from SOME reality. Yes, it's easy to make smaller truths into huge issues in a book, or on TV, or in a movie, but I really think that's okay. That's the point of art, isn't it, to make us think differently?

This passage: Now, I was not expecting Nancy Drew. But... surely this sort of behavior isn't very common? Is it something you'd want your ten-year-old reading? (YA is supposedly for 12-15-year-olds, but in fact younger kids who are good readers consume most of it.)

just shows ignorance.

1. No, if it were common behavior the book would be really boring. Who wants to read books where common behavior happens?

2. I've never met anyone who recommended Valiant to a ten-year-old. If you have, please send them my way so I can smack them one.

3. Younger kids who are good readers consume most YA? First, define "younger." Second, where did this statistic come from? It's not like Nielsen Bookscan asks you for your age when you buy a book. I can only speak for the libraries I've worked in, of course, but I found that most of the people checking out books from the YA section are, um, teens.

4. YA is supposedly for 12-15-year-olds? Geez, you better tell YALSA, then, because their "Ages 12-18" service plan is all wrong and most of the books on BBYA are too old. Also, please send that memo to John Green, M.T. Anderson, Nancy Werlin, Robert Lipsyte, Chris Lynch, Sonya Hartnett, and all those other authors that write YA for the 14-and-over age range. Clearly, no one is reading their books and they need to quit writing.

So my question overall is: Why on earth is this writer talking about putting together a proposal for a YA novel when she doesn't read YA and hasn't kept up on the genre in years? How could you even think about writing YA fantasy and not know blackholly's work? The number of adult authors writing YA is climbing every day. In some ways this is good: We got Sherman Alexie, Carl Hiaasen, Alice Hoffman, Nick Hornby, Benjamin Alire Saenz, and other authors who have remarkable talent and wrote terrific teenage voices. But on the other hand, we get people like James Patterson, who I'll discuss in Part II: Stop Biting the Hand That Feeds.

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In other news, this is just wrong. Way to ruin my childhood. Sometimes movies are best left alone. You know one thing about Hollywood I never could stomach? All the damn sequels.

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Today in a meeting, someone's cell phone went off. Instead of silencing the phone immediately, she picked it up, answered it, and proceeded to have a short conversation. In front of a very crowded room. Those of us with manners damn near had heart attacks.

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ANTM: I know this makes me unpopular, but TEAM LAUREN! (Not opposed to teams Katarzyna, Claire, or Aimee either.)

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Who wants to beta the SPN fic I'm writing for pinkfinity's belated birthday? gwendolyngrace? titti? emmademarais? Anyone? Bueller?

Tags: i work with crazy people, rants, ya
126: cranky

Admittedly, my primary reason for not becoming a school librarian seems illogical: I am not a morning person. But trust me, you wouldn't want me trying to teach your kids anything at 7:30 in the morning. I haven't been to bed before midnight in quite some time, and I usually don't function very well before 9 a.m. Ever since I was a little kid, I've been a night owl, and even though school librarians are often paid better than public librarians, public libraries open at nine or ten in the morning.

Circadian rhythms aside, while booktalking last week I was again reminded of why I made the right decision (for me) to work in public as opposed to school libraries.

I met with a group of school and public (but mostly school) librarians last week for a booktalking session. We all read 2-5 books, write up reviews, and share them. These meetings are great because they're a chance to look through books you might only have seen reviews for, and to hear about new titles. It's also a chance for public and school librarian interaction, which there's never enough of, imho. No bad here, really.

One of the books I booktalked was Black Duck by Janet Taylor Lisle. This book is in my ten favorites of the year, I think. It's about a boy, Ruben, twelve years old, living in a small Rhode Island port town during Prohibition. Because his town is easily accessible by water, it becomes a hotspot for rumrunners. Eventually, the town becomes ruled by organized crime, and Ruben doesn't know who to trust anymore. There's action, a great look at a shady side of American history (and a time that is very much glossed over in schools), the tiniest bit of guy romance, and grit. Reviews have been muchly favorable, and it's a book I think I'd like to use with a summer reading group. As part of my booktalk, I mentioned that this was a book for approximately sixth through ninth graders, based on the storytelling and the age of the main character.

When I got done booktalking, one of the school librarians said to me, "Do you really think that book would be appropriate in a middle school? I'm worried about the rum."

I assured her that the main character never drank the rum, and yes, there was kidnapping and offstage murder, but no drinking or sex. I think it's a book that fans of the Stormbreaker books (that's another story altogether, not for this entry because I shouldn't comment on books I haven't finished) and other action or historical titles would enjoy.

"Are you sure?" she asked again. "Well, maybe I'll have to check it out."

I respect school librarians very much. They have to go through a hell of a lot of training and continuing education in order to support their teachers and curriculum. But I could never, never do it. I am too addicted to books that have sex, drugs, and rock and roll and love recommending them too much. I couldn't pass over Theodora Twist because of the sex scene, knowing there's so much in that book to discuss. I do understand where the school librarian's concern comes from. I know it's real, and from working with school librarians I know it can be hard to develop reading lists and recommend books. I'd just rather not have to worry about it on a daily basis.

Sort of ETA: I started this entry yesterday morning, and yesterday afternoon I read a LTTE in School Library Journal from a school librarian who was outraged that SLJ's starred review of Black Hole by Charles Burns did not explicitly mention the nudity and sex scenes in the book. The reviewer's response was that he did describe a mature, frightening graphic novel using words like "dark" and "unsettling." The book is about a sexually transmitted disease and the isolation it brings to those infected. The reviewer, btw, works in a high school, just like the person who wrote the complaint. The two letters made me think even more about the different collection development views between school and public librarians. Neither is wrong, of course, but each has vastly different audiences and purposes to consider. Being a reviewer is a constant battle of the middle: To spoil or not to spoil? Is nudity worth mentioning? How explicit does sex have to be to warrant a mention in a review? I don't know the answers to either of these questions (although really, if the ending of a book sucks, please tell me so I don't buy it and then have kids returning it and whining about how much the ending sucks), and the reviewer of Black Hole handled his criticism with far more grace than I probably would have.

I am ITCHING to talk fandom but I can't right now. But have a link, all those who like to write by Evanescence: What's the saddest song ever? Science knows.

Tags: books, i work with crazy people
126: tired
780: I'm the narrator and this is just the prologue

Last week, I had dinner with four other librarians, one of whom is a school librarian. The five of us had just come from a panel discussion on which the school librarian participated. One of the subjects that the panel didn't get around to talking about (they ran out of time), was the perception of YA lit by teachers and school librarians vs. the perception by public librarians.

"I did a survey among my kids," said the school librarian over dinner, "and a lot of them feel that because modern YA literature is so graphic and gritty and real that they feel like they now have license to go out and do the same things the character did in the book because it was described in so much detail."

I am still open-mouthed over this. I didn't know how to respond without sounding like a huge bitch. I wanted to say, "Do teens today really have such a difficult time separating fiction from reality? Do they think it's all right to do everything they see in an episode of The O.C.? If not, why is TV different from books?" I wanted to say, "Please tell me I misunderstand what you just told me, because if I'm not, either your students live in Bizarro World or I do."

I can't be interpreting her words correctly. I can't. I can't believe that teens would think it's all right to go out and run away to Mexico to help an abused friend just because they saw it in a book, or shoplift, or take a friend's Ritalin. Do teens do these things? Yes. But I have to believe that they do it for reasons other than "I read it in a book, so I thought it was okay." Teens are smarter than that. Most PEOPLE are smarter than that, regardless of age.

Related to this, the results of the YALSA Teens Top Ten are in, and only one of them is modern realistic fiction. Five of the remaining nine are grounded in reality but have fantastic elements. The other four include three "regular" (non-urban, not set in modern times, etc.) fantasy and one historical fiction. Since the Teens Top Ten is actually picked by teens, I'm throwing my hands up. Who's reading the realistic fiction? Or maybe it's just that a higher percentage of fantasy readers are inclined to vote. I don't know.

Editing to add: Over lunch, I read the books chapter of Packaging Girlhood by Sharon Lamb and Lyn Mikel Brown, and it turns out that I am wrong. I am disillusioned in thinking that teens, especially teen girls, can separate fact from fiction. I am not in the know about the marketing that goes into messages of femininity and popularity in books. Woe is I, for I suck at my job.

Posts on this book will follow. It's...interesting, I guess, but I have some serious problems with the chapter on books, starting with the fact that the only fun, interesting, smart, brave girls they name in YA lit are all in fantasy novels. NOT ALL TEENS READ FANTASY, YO.

In happy news, my former boss, Violet, just got a New York Times Librarian of the Year 2006 award. She rocks. Oh, and also I am reading Cures for Heartbreak by Margo Rabb and that rocks, too.

---

merry_smutmas fic well on its way toward done. YAY.

Tags: i work with crazy people, ya
126: disheartened

Today, a twelve-year-old (she looked older) girl came into my teen section and picked up a copy of Meg Cabot's All-American Girl. Since it's on a required reading list for the local junior high, I asked her if she needed help finding other required books. No, she's okay, she goes to a different school with a suggested reading list. Note that there is no parent around. This is important.

Girl asks me if we have Girl, 15, Charming but Insane by Sue Limb, and I take a look at the shelves and it's not there. It's pretty popular, so I tell her that it's probably checked out. Does she want another book like it?

Okay.

Enter the mother.

I'm still working with the girl at this point, so I start conducting a reader's advisory interview. One of the first questions I always ask is, "What are some books you've read that you like?" This question helps me to learn two things: 1) the reader's general taste 2) what books NOT to give them, since they've read them already.

Girl says, "I liked Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants."

Okay.

I start pulling books. I say to the girl, "What I'm going to do is get a whole bunch of books for you to look through, and you can choose from them. Picking out books is like trying on jeans: Sometimes you have to try on ten before you find one that fits."

Based on her reading tastes, I pull One of Those Hideous Books Where the Mother Dies, Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging, Vegan, Virgin, Valentine, Dunk, Sweetblood, Feeling Sorry for Celia, The Year of Secret Assignments, Planet Janet, Thwonk, Confessions of a Not It Girl, A Mango-Shaped Space, and...a few others I don't remember. But you get the point. Interesting female characters, strong female friendships, etc.

I start booktalking. I'm one hell of a booktalker, if I do say so myself. I compare some titles to Sisterhood..., and the whole time I'm trying not to slap the mother, who keeps repeating now, "She's only twelve, she's only twelve." Leave me alone, lady, I can do my job.

So the mother and daughter are looking through the books and the mother starts talking.

"Are all these books for twelve-year-olds?" she asks, indicating my entire YA section.

"No," I reply. "This section encompasses sixth through twelfth grade."

"Oh! So are these high school books you gave her? Because we don't want books for high schoolers. She's only twelve. We need books with good values."

At this point I'm thisclose to asking her if she's read Sisterhood, but I don't really need to. I know the answer's no, because Bridget has sex in the book and she'd freak. So I tell both mother and daughter that all the books were very different, but they were all from good writers and had interesting characters. Some had older characters and some had younger characters. In none of the books did the characters have sex on every page. I don't know of any YA novels like that. (Note, zeisgeist, that I artfully didn't mention Doing It, which is checked out anyway, as was Contents.)

"But do they have good values?"

Thoroughly confused and a little ticked off, I say, "Everyone has different values. I can't make that decision for anyone regarding exactly what they should read. I can suggest books, but every reader has to make his or her own decision."

"Right, but you know what I mean? We don't want books for high schoolers. Which of these books are for high schoolers? We need books with good values." (And Sisterhood is...)

Sigh. I point out that Vegan Virgin Valentine has the oldest protagonist, followed by Sweetblood, but I said, "You can't judge all the books by the age of their protagonist. For example, there are no bad words in Dunk, but the main character is a high-schooler with typical high school worries. When I think of a high school book, it's not always about the content, but the language. The language in Dunk makes it especially appropriate for...maybe 8th, 9th, 10th grade. But it's really a terrific book and remember, you can always return it if you don't like it."

At this point, I break away to help the girl's brother. He wants illustrated classics. I help him at my desk, and just as we're finishing the daughter comes by with Dunk and Confessions of a Not It Girl. I tell her she's made excellent choices and to come back and let me know what she thinks of the books.

Later, I got to thinking about the "values" thing. Here is what I value: As many opinions and views as I can afford. But what would this mother have said to me if her daughter had picked out One of Those Hideous Books Where the Mother Dies, where the main character's father comes out to his daughter? It's a beautifully written, heartfelt book, and the daughter still loves her father despite his keeping such an important secret from her for so many years. But would the mother have bitched to my director about giving her daughter a book with a gay character? What about Sweetblood, in which a guy tries to seduce Lucy through a chat room and giving her creepy gifts? Lucy is a smart, takes-no-shit character who doesn't allow herself to be taken advantage of, but is this a "good value" or is it cancelled out by Draco? I like to think that I'm pretty impartial...well, humanly impartial, anyway...in my job, that I try to have a diverse collection available and not make moral judgments. I'm very much a believer in "you can only please some of the people some of the time," and I really do try to match the book to what the reader wants/needs. Sometimes, though, I feel like there's not much choice but to let my prejudices shine. At least I try to be prejudiced in favor of good writing, I guess.

It must be the end of July, because I'm feeling the weariness of dealing with the constant stream parents who never read YA lit but whine to me nonstop about all the "heavy," "depressing" books on the summer reading lists. Right. Which one of us has read 85% of what's on that list and helped pick out a good percentage of the books? Yes, Skellig is on the list (and thank your deity of choice for the seventh-grader who was sitting at a table reading it when a mother was complaining to her daughter about how it was too dark and serious and oh you wouldn't like it, who said, "It's really good! I'm really liking it."). But so is Swords for Hire. So is Heir Apparent.

Other YA lit news: Just finished Margaret Peterson Haddix's Turnabout. Margaret Peterson Haddix is not a good writer. Next review: Sleeping Freshmen Never Lie by David Lubar, which was ah-mazing. Next book to read, dammit: Pretties by Scott Westerfeld, since I now have my very own copy. Also, Rhymes with Witches got a 2Q in the new VOYA. Color me unsurprised. Started I am the Wallpaper, which I'm enjoying, but not to be confused with i am the Messenger, which should be held up as an example of how to voice characters.

Dish time.

Mary J. Blige - Family Affair

Tags: books, i work with crazy people, libraries
126: hot

Dear Patron Who Annoys Me,

You're in the library, so I assume you can read. See that sign on the door of the periodicals archive that says "EMPLOYEES ONLY?" Yes, this means you. I don't care what you're looking for and what wasn't cited and what your friend sent you. Five minutes of you in there could take us the better part of a week to straighten out. Next time I find you in there, I might not be so nice.

Love, Cedar

And whoever let this patron in the periodical archive on Sunday is going to get it.

87 books to go. Am freaking out. Shouldn't have had caffeine this morning.

Tags: i work with crazy people
126: hyper

Happy birthday,
ashfae

Tomorrow I'm swapping friendslists with affectedmangoo, so everyone be good. I think I will bore her heinously with the many LIS feeds, though.

Censorship link of the day: The Giver challenged in Kansas City. This I love:

Although he could not speak specifically about The Giver, Peter Sprigg, a senior director with the conservative Family Research Council, said parents should speak out if they find something objectionable.

“It is not that children can't be exposed to opinions and cultural values that are different from their family, but there are limits,” Sprigg said. “Free press, free access to ideas, are adult concepts. When dealing with children, a different standard applies.” Blue Springs eighth-graders don't have to read The Giver.

1) It's a kids' book. How long would it take him to read it? An hour? An hour and a half?

2) Children can certainly be exposed to opinions and cultural values that are different from their family, as long as the people in those opinions aren't gay, Jewish, Catholic, Middle Eastern... (that was sarcastic)

3) Free access to ideas is only for adults? Where have I been? Sure, I understand that not every child has to be exposed to every idea out there, and that children mature at different rates and are ready to accept new concepts and ideas at different times, but silly me, I thought that's what parents were for (and to a smaller extent, teachers and librarians).

No fandom here. Move along.

Tags: censorship, i work with crazy people, rants
126: cranky

From the "What do you think I do all day?" files, this article regarding Jenna Jameson's book at the Houston Public Library.

[City Councilwoman Pam] Holm said Houston's libraries should "absolutely" have a system of rating books and determining if they are suitable for children, like movie rating systems.


"I don't think we should just order (any) books," Holm said. "It should go through a review process, and those books that are inappropriate for children should be in a place where children don't have access to them."

Dude, what we librarians wouldn't give for a budget that allowed us to order "just any books." And that "review process" that works oh so well for movies? We call them professional journals. We read them, even.

Speaking of professional journals, I've been thinking a lot about the recent fight over Rainbow Boys in a Wisconsin school district, but probably not for the reasons I should. Yes, intellectual freedom, representation of real-life issues, etc. However, I'm thinking about the case more from the perspective of a YA book reviewer.

When a book is challenged in a library or school, librarians use professional reviews in their defense of a book. Makes sense. But it's a little scary to think about that one day, I could review a book that will be challenged, and they will hold up my review as evidence that said book has a place in a school or public library. I know it's the whole "with power comes responsibility" thing, and I do my best to be fair in my reviews and put personal preferences/prejudices aside and review how well the characters are developed, how the plot works out, the language, writing style, etc. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I always worry that someone's going to write to the journal I review for and go on a long rant about how awful my review is, or that someone will regret buying a book that I reviewed favorably. Sometimes I feel like I haven't a clue as to what I'm doing because I didn't do that well in high school English and therefore never took an English class in college. I didn't learn how to "properly" read a book, whatever that means, and I always have this fear that one day I'm going to write a review and completely miss the point of a book. Of course, I still think that would put me in a better position than the people who want the book removed from the library because it says something they don't like.

Today: laundry, dishes, Pilates, straightening, editing Morality for Beautiful Slytherins

Tags: books, censorship, i work with crazy people, libraries, rants

Stupid reference trick: Boy, 15 or so, comes into library. Needs book on Egypt. Okay. I show him where the books on Egypt are and go back to my SLJ. I also give him directions to the copy machine. Boy seems able bodied and minded.

Me: Not your momma
Him: School is haaaaarrrrrrd

Him: I need books on Egypt, Jamaica, and India. Can you get some for me?
Me: Have you checked our catalog already to see what we have?
Him: What's that?
Me: Our catalog, on the computer, lists all the books in libraries in the county. Use it and it will show you what books we have on those topics and where to find them.
Him: Well, can't you just look it up for me?

Oh, he said the wrong thing to the wrong librarian.

Me: I can, but I won't. Come with me and I'll teach you how to use the catalog.

-At the catalog

Me: *does demonstration of a title search, just to show him how the whole thing works, and uses Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone as an example.
Him: *incredulously* You like Harry Potter?
Me: *in my "duh" voice* Um, yeah. Lots of people like Harry Potter. *finishes title search* Now, I'll show you how to do a subject-specific search, so you can find the books you need.
Him: Can't you just do your demonstration on the subjects I'm looking for?
Me: Absolutely not. *does demonstration subject search on witchcraft*

Mr. Cedar and I found an apartment yesterday that's perfect except for the fact that it has no bathtub. Well, it does, but no one over the age of six can actually use it to take baths in. On the one hand, I LIKE taking baths. On the other, I spend too much money at Lush anyway.

And my head is absolutely killing me. Damn hurricanes.

Tags: i work with crazy people
126: ouchy

There's this mother that comes into our library once a week or so and she has these two little brat children, about 2 and 4, who she lets run around the library unsupervised, and Jenny thinks that one of them broke the Legolas figurine on my desk. I came in this morning and he was gone, even though the base he stood on is still there. Brats. And of course, according to the mother the children can do no wrong.

Books: I'm 75 pages into Doing It by Melvin Burgess and will probably finish it later today or this evening. I'm saving judgement for when I finish, but so far I really like it. Yeah, it's prurient. I don't care. I think the mind of the teenage boy is pretty well portrayed, and dare I say that there are even some parts that are pretty hot?

But that got me thinking.

I read a lot of erotica, both fanfic and original works. Thank you, fandom. Reading erotica and reading about what makes a work of writing erotic has changed my view of what is sexy over the years, and I'm glad for it. Not that I'm ashamed of what I used to think, but my views have expanded, which is never a bad thing. However, I have to giggle at myself when I think a part of Doing It is hot, because I wonder how many teen readers see it the same way. It's definitely not that I don't think teens are sexual beings. Of course they are. I was sneaking erotica and slash fanzines when I was 11, maybe even younger, and I fully acknowledge that teens are curious about sex.. We all are/were. I wonder, though, if they know how hot some of the writing is. And Teh Slashy in The Chocolate War and Shattering Glass. For three days last week almost all the discussion on YALSA-BK was on Doing It and the debate over what kind of library it belongs in, what makes a book worthy of buying, reviews, and other general library stuff. I think it'd be more fun to talk about subtext and eroticism, but I really ought to finish the book first.

Also, I need help.

As some of you know, I really hate to cook. I own one cookbook, and it's at Mr. C's parents' house. However, I recognize that I have to cook 'cause I have to live, and making meals at home is one of the best ways to save money so that I can have more money to spend at Lush. (stop that laughing, mollymoon) However, I haven't a clue as to what to make. I make the second-best Caesar salad on the planet (after Pa Cedar), some pretty good peanut soup, and a nice baked chicken dish with Swiss cheese and some other stuff, but that's the extent of my repertoire. I couldn't even keep a guest entertained for a week. So all of you who do cook, what do you make that doesn't take a lot of time, doesn't involve a lot of specialty pots or pans or spices, and that makes for good leftovers so I don't have to cook as much. Remember, you're talking to someone who only owns pots and pans because her mother-in-law had an extra set. I also have a teeny Foreman grill and a 10x14 glass baking dish. But I don't own a saltshaker.

I also thought a lot this weekend about fandom essays and posts and basically anything fandom-related that isn't fic, but that's for another post.

Tags: books, i work with crazy people, writing
126: busy

Happy Birthday,
xandria!

1. I don't give a shit as to what Weather Underground says. It is going to rain here in the next three days or so. None of this "scattered clouds" crap. My head aches so bad I can barely see straight and yesterday all my upper teeth on the right side of my face hurt. It's going to rain.

2. Stupid reference trick: A man, his wife, and his kid come into the library, and I say hi to them as they walk past the reference desk. The man says, "You're always here when I come here! You're here all the time." Instead of saying, "That's because I work here full time, you dumbass," I smile and reply in jest, "Well, I just love my job so much I spend all my time here." He says, "Let me see your hands," and when I hold mine up, he says, "Well, you have a ring on, so there must be something to keep you occupied outside the library." Let me tell you, I was almost ready to bury that ring in his right eye.

3. I have a review due tomorrow of Rush Hour II: Bad Boys for VOYA. It's really good so far, but writing reviews of short story and essay collections is hard. Worth it to get an advance of the book, though. I should talk to my editor at VOYA, though, because lately I've not been getting trade copies of the books I review, and it's in my contract that I'm supposed to get them. A minor annoyance, but still.

4. While I can understand why Michiko Kakutani reviewed Art Spiegelman's new book In the Shadow of No Towers the way she did, I wish she, and everyone else who reads this book, could have attended his lecture at Book Expo America. Besides being a fascinating look at the history of newspaper cartoons, his lecture gave attendees a lot of insight on the design of this new book, which I have not read. He talked about how he tied in old comics characters with his view of September 11, and while that definitely lends itself to the "scattered" feeling Kakutani talks about, I think that because I attended his lecture (like I was going to skip it!), I might have a better understanding of the art and how it relates to the story. For once. This is why I am not volunteering for Graphic Novel Review.
And I also loved how they photographed Art Spiegelman with a cigarette. He chain-smoked the entire time he lectured at Book Expo. Which is funny now.

Also, I thought it was funny that John Corigliano is mentioned, not because he writes funny music, but because my father once bought a CD of his not realizing he's 20th century rather than baroque. Pa Cedar got quite the shock.

5. I am imagining a fic moment, taking place during OotP. Snape is at #12 Grimmauld Place late for some reason, and he's attempting to make polite conversation with Remus. Don't know why.

Snape: How was your day?
Remus: Ah, the usual. I took Sirius for a walk and he peed on a fire hydrant.

Which everyone seems to think is kind of funny except me. Okay, I think it's a little funny.

Have to go read now.

Tags: i work with crazy people, reviewing
126: sore

1. Boy, 11 or 12, calls me around 10 am to ask if we have The Time Machine. I tell him we do, and he says thanks and hangs up. He comes into the library around 12, not identifying himself as the patron who called earlier and asks if we have The Time Machine, Eagle Strike, and Point Blank. I tell him that while he can find a copy of the first book in the summer reading section under Wells, the latter two are checked out. However he can fill out a reserve card for each of the Anthony Horowitz books and turn them in at the front desk. When the books arrive, we'll call him. He takes some cards and runs off.

He has some difficulty filling out the cards. "What's Patron Name?" ("That's your name.") "What's my library card number? Is that the number on the back of my library card?" ("Yes, it is.") He finishes filling out the cards and says, "Where's The Time Machine?" I tell him it's in the summer reading section, but before I can tell him the author's last name is Wells and that all of our books are alphabetical by the author's last name, he runs off. Again. Whatever. He comes back thirty seconds later to ask me where it is again, and I tell him. His mother comes into the library maybe ten minutes later and he's sitting at a computer. Silly me, I assumed he was sitting at a computer because he found his book. She walks over to him and says, "I've been waiting in the car for the past fifteen minutes! Have you found your book yet?" He looks up at her kind of hopelessly and says no. So she approaches me at the ref desk.

"My son's looking for The Time Machine. Do you have it?"

"Yes, we have it, and I've already told him twice that it's in the summer reading section under Wells."

Believe it or not, the mother lectured her kid about listening to me when I told him twice where to find the book.


2) I'm digging through the YA graphic novel collection for our copy of Sandman: Brief Lives because I can't find it and my mood is growing increasingly more foul. I notice a mother squatting down in my summer reading section and go over to help her.

Me: Your Dewey heroine
Her: Average Parent in the town I work in.

Me: Hi, can I help you find a book.
AP: *pulling the book off the shelf* No, I think I found it.
Me: Okay. Anything else you need help with?
AP: No, I just came to get a book for my kid for summer reading.
Me: Oh, is he...she? in the library? I'll be happy to help with book selection.
AP: It's for my son. This year there's actually a book on the required summer reading list that he wants to read.
Me: If your son's here, I'll give him a hand with the books. I've read a lot of the books on the list and can help him pick one out.
AP: No, he didn't want to come to the library, so he sent me instead.
Me: Excuse me, I have to go kick something now. (So what I really said was, "Okay then," and walked away to look more for my Sandman book, which I still can't find.)

What I really wanted to say: You let your kid run your life like that?????

3) Patron this morning is working with another town resident, volunteering at the U.S. Open. As though I care. Wanted to know if he could bring in his laptop to connect to the internet. We don't have that kind of technology available yet at this library. Takes me five minutes to explain to him that no, he can't check his email on his laptop, but he can do it on the web. Through Internet Explorer, sir, if you have a web-based email program or if your ISP provides web-based email.

3A) YES, YOU CAN CHECK YOUR AOL MAIL EVEN THOUGH WE DON'T HAVE AOL BROWSERS ON OUR COMPUTERS. GET YOURSELF A REAL ISP.

4)
Me: Book purveyor
Him: Teen Procrastinator

Phone rings:

TP: Hi, I need a copy of Grendel it's required for my English class.
Me: Okay. We have two copies. They're both checked out and there are five people waiting for the books. It may take up to eight weeks for you to get a copy from us. I do have two more copies on order, but they're not here yet. Because we own the book, we're not ILLing it from other libraries.
TP: BUT SCHOOL STARTS IN TWO WEEKS.
Me, almost: I missed the part where that's my problem.

5) We have a lovely Girl Scout volunteer that just amassed a huge amount of sheet music for the library, and as her Girl Scout Gold Award project she's cataloging it with help from me and Jenny. She was cut from the junior volleyball team this afternoon and, after being a member during her freshman and sophomore years, was understandably upset. I hugged her and gave her Kleenex, and we talked. She's doing a little better now, but wants to sit for the afternoon in the back and read for school. I don't mind this, because normally she's a very hard worker and a joy to have around. This isn't a stupid reference trick, just proof that you can't learn everything important in library school.

Back to procrastinating.

Tags: i work with crazy people

eilanhp's birthday fic: 3 pages done. I think the finished product will be around 5 or 6. You know, it's not as difficult to write as I thought it would be. That is either a Very Good Thing or a Very Scary Thing.

mawaridi's birthday fic: is rolling over and playing dead. Here's the deal, M. It's not going to get done by your birthday. However, I will have a cookie for you, and when it's done, not only will there be fic, but there will be super-special yummy gryph1 art to go with it.

Work done on StP: none. Didn't even open the file. Maybe tomorrow.

Before I go to the Idiot Patron of the Day, please send the Job Fairy out to LA to my sister. She needs a good job. She deserves one. She works hard and is smart and cool. (Hufflepuff)

Today's Stupid Reference Trick:

Cedar: (on the phone to Annoying Overbearing Patron) Ref Desk.

AOP: Hi, I need a book for my son, he's--

Cedar, whose major, major pet peeve is parents who do their children's homework for them: Great, do you mind if I talk to your son?

AOP: Are you sure you want to talk to him? I mean, he's only twelve years old. He's on the computer right now.

Cedar: (cheerfully) Absolutely! I'm the Young Adult librarian. I talk to twelve-year-olds all day long. It'll be no problem at all. Put him on and I'll work with him.

AOP: Well, do you just not want to talk to me? Do you want me to go away? I mean, why do you need to talk to him?

Cedar: (lightly) It's just my standard operating procedure. If I talk to the kid, I can be sure that I'm giving them the right information and the right books.

AOP: Well, I mean, do you have a problem with me or something? I mean, I just want books on Subject Matter.

Cedar: (groans, because she can see that this one is a loony, and does a search which...Ha! turns up no books on Subject Matter) Sorry, we have no books on that subject, but other libraries do, and we can get them for you through ILL. When does your son need the books?

AOP: (yelling to Child) Hey Child, when's this report due? (to Cedar) May 15.

Cedar: Okay, well, if you order the books, you'll still have plenty of time, otherwise you can go to one of our neighboring libraries...If your son comes in here he can place the ILL requests on his card. They should come in about a week.

AOP: Can I place the requests on his card?

Cedar: (considering library's privacy policy, which does not allow one patron to use another patron's card, including parent/child trading) I'm not sure. Let me transfer you.

Bleh. So I transfer this woman to Circulation, where she proceeds to tell Awesome Circ Clerk that no, she doesn't have a resident library card, she has one for a neighboring town, but she insists that Circ can get her the books anyway. We never do ILL requests for non-residents. ILL's have to be placed through the patron's home library. AOP tries to tell ACC that oh yes, ACC can and should place ILL's over the phone for her with her nonresident card. We had a good laugh, esp. since AOP called earlier in the week, trying to pull the exact same stunt on a different clerk.

Idiots.

Did that post make sense to anyone besides fasterthanlight and burningtoast? Eep. Sorry to spam ya.

Am trying to read The Nanny Diaries but it's not very good.

Tags: i work with crazy people
126: determined
780: Third Eye Blind, "Semi-Charmed Life"

Idiot patron: Is there a reason why Instant Messenger is on some of the computers and not others?

Cedar: Because I haven't had a chance to erase it from all the computers yet.

IP: (looks as though I've just declared that there will be no more chocolate in the world again ever) You erase it?

C: Yes, because it's not nice when people download things to our computers. We have very old computers with very little RAM and not a lot of hard drive space, and when people download things it can mess up our computers.

IP: But I use it.

C: Use AIM Express from the website. *does demonstration*

Come on, people. This is not your home computer. It does not exist for your manipulation or personal pleasure. It exists so the general public (yes, that's you), can have free, easy access to lots of information...some of which is even good. I spend at least 20 minutes a day erasing things from our computers, and asking people who are using AIM or YM to stop. They all look at me, terrified, and say, "I didn't download it!" I don't fucking care! Just don't use it! At least I haven't gotten the "My taxes pay your salary" line. That's the worst. Yes, your taxes pay my salary that you would never want to try to live on.

Too tired to write more.

Tags: i work with crazy people
126: annoyed
780: Fleetwood Mac, "Gold Dust Woman"